We've tried every pumpkin spice product out there, and let's just say you can't win 'em all. There are certain foods that simply should be pumpkin-spicified — pumpkin spice kale chips?! — and it's important for you to know what to skip as you grocery shop since you'll come across a seemingly endless variety. Based on our own taste tests, these are the 25 pumpkin spice foods you should stay far, far away from.
— Additional reporting by Anna Monette Roberts and Nicole Perry
1Sprouts Organic Pumpkin Spice Kale Chips
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Sprouts Organic Pumpkin Spice Kale Chips ($5) sound like they were dreamt up by buzzword-happy food scientists, and the flavor isn't too far off. Kale chips shouldn't be sweet, much less pumpkin-spiced; we'll leave it at that.
1 / 25
2Yoplait Greek Pumpkin Cheesecake
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At two percent fat vs. nonfat, we hoped that Yoplait Greek Pumpkin Cheescake wouldn't be chalky, but alas it is. Add to that two more sins (it's too sweet and woefully artificial in flavor), and you have a yogurt that we just can't even begin to recommend.
2 / 25
3Wrigley’s Extra Pumpkin Spice
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With vanilla bean and cinnamon on the packet of Wrigley’s Extra Pumpkin Spice ($1), we thought we were in for a innocuous-flavored gum, but a few chews in, we forcefully spit this stuff out. It’s horrifically sucralose sweet with just a hint of cinnamon flavor. Though not the worst thing we’ve ever tried, it’s pretty darn close.
3 / 25
4Yoplait Light Pumpkin Pie
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Yoplait Light Pumpkin Pie just barely edges out its Greek sister because it (surprisingly) is a bit creamier. That said, it has the same problems flavor-wise; we couldn't get through more than one bite.
4 / 25
5Pinnacle Pumpkin Pie Vodka
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No; just no. Pinnacle Pumpkin Pie Vodka ($15) tastes exactly as you imagine, which is to say: cloying sweet and artificial. It might make for a good gag gift, but beyond that we just can't recommend its purchase.
5 / 25
6Nature's Path Pumpkin-N-Spice Chewy Granola Bars
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Despite picking up a fresh box of Nature's Path Pumpkin-N-Spice Chewy Granola Bars ($4) (and also checking the expiration date), these bars taste like rancid nuts and stale rice puffs. Do not, for the sake of your taste buds, go there.
6 / 25
7Brach's Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn
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We unabashedly love tooth-achingly sweet, waxy classic candy corn (and Brach's version in particular), but Brach's Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn ($3) is a flop. The spices are far too assertive; paired with candy corn's waxy texture, candle comparisons are easy to make.
7 / 25
8Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Company Pumpkin Pie Truffles
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Ciao Bella Pumpkin Sea Salt Caramel ($7) had the potential to be so good, yet it let us down in a major way. First off, the caramel is all on the bottom. Womp womp. As for pumpkin: the company earns one point for using real pumpkin bits but minus three for it tasting really grainy and squash-like. Plus, the ice cream itself is icy as if it’s freezer burned.
9 / 25
10Angelino's Coffee Pumpkin Spice
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Angelino's Coffee Pumpkin Spice ($6 for 12 pods) tastes like regular, black coffee without any discernible pumpkin spice aroma or flavor.
10 / 25
11Dannon Oikos Pumpkin Pie
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Cloyingly sweet with an odd banana-y note and fake nutmeg flavor, Dannon Oikos Pumpkin Pie ($1) is one to skip.
If you're dying to try pumpkin spice candy corn, Gold Emblem Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn is a better option than Brach's. That said, it's painfully sweet, it lacks candy corn's honeyed note, and the only discernible spice is cinnamon.
13 / 25
14Trader Joe's Pumpkin Ice Cream
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We've had delicious, inexpensive pumpkin ice cream, and Trader Joe's Pumpkin Ice Cream ($4) is not it. It's way too sweet and all spice but nothing nice. The funny, slippery texture doesn't help either.
14 / 25
15Hershey's Kisses Pumpkin Spice
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Waxy in texture and potpourri-like in flavor, everything about these Hershey's Kisses Pumpkin Spice ($3) made us grimace. Stick to original Kisses if you know what's good for you.
15 / 25
16Lifeway Kefir Pumpkin Spice
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As kefir fans, we really wanted to like Lifeway Kefir Pumpkin Spice ($5 for a 4-pack) but were put off by its unpalatably sour flavor, which just didn't jibe with the mild dose of spices.
16 / 25
17Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Company Milk Chocolate Pumpkin Pie Bark
We had high hopes for Engine 2 Apple Pumpkin Granola ($5) but were puzzled by it's lack of flavor — cardboard-y was the best we could come up with. While the granola doesn't taste bad per se, it also doesn't really taste like anything.
18 / 25
19Trader Joe's Pumpkin Joe-Joe's ($3)
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If you've never had Joe's Joe-Joe's, Trader Joe's take on Oreos, what are you waiting for? The pumpkin flavor, on the other hand, is something you can skip out on. Similar to the Mango Joe Joe's, these have a bit of an unpleasant aftertaste. While the orange filling gets props for being made with actual pumpkin puree, it doesn't quite make for a cookie we want to keep snacking on.
19 / 25
20Pumpkin Spice Latte Peeps ($3)
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Peeps are extremely polarizing: you either love or hate them. Some of our tasters couldn't wait to try these PSL-inspired Peeps, while others grimaced and stayed as far away as possible. Ultimately, the artificial flavor of the coffee-like Peeps with a white chocolate coating isn't enjoyable enough to keep us going back for more. "I want to like this, but I truly just don't understand it," one reviewer wrote.
20 / 25
21Ready Pac Pumpkin Spice Bistro Bowl
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If you're into sweet salad dressing like bottled raspberry vinaigrette or Italian, you might enjoy Ready Pac Pumpkin Spice Bistro Bowl ($4), which boasts not only a sweet pumpkin spice dressing, but also a generous amount of dried fruit. Points for creativity, but we just couldn't get into it.
21 / 25
22365 Organic Pumpkin Spice Low Fat Yogurt
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In a sea of delicious pumpkin spice yogurts, 365 Organic Pumpkin Spice Low Fat Yogurt ($1) leaves a lot less to be desired. The vanilla yogurt itself is gummy, and we struggled to find the "pumpkin spice" component.
22 / 25
23Sprouts Toasted Pumpkin Loops
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We really wanted to like Sprouts Toasted Pumpkin Loops ($3) — how good does a pumpkin spice take on Cheerios sound? — but they fell short of our expectations. While the crunchy texture and malty whole-grain base was on point, the pumpkin-spice flavor reminded us of a candle or air freshener.
23 / 25
24Boulder Canyon Pumpkin Pie Kettle Cooked Potato Chips ($5 for 4 bags)
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While we applaud the creativity of Boulder Canyon Pumpkin Pie Kettle Cooked Potato Chips, after one bite, it's clear why most chip manufacturers stick to pumpkin spice flavoring instead of going fully for it with a pumpkin pie flavor. These were simply way too sweet.
24 / 25
25Third Street Festivus Chai
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Sadly, Third Street Festivus Chai ($5) is full of sugar and spice but isn't so nice. While not out-and-out offensive, we wish it tasted more like tea, as a bit of bitterness would round the flavor out nicely.