Sugar Bride Guide: Personal Touches

How did you make your day memorable and enjoyable for your guests? We really, really love good food, as do all of our friends and loved ones. Our wedding venue was also a Michelin-starred restaurant, so we had an amazing cocktail hour with beautiful bubbly Sofia sparkling wine and delicious appetizers, and then a sit-down, three-course meal with wine pairings. People are still talking about their meals five years later, so we consider it a success!

How did you incorporate personal touches in your wedding? We didn't do a ton of DIY projects or décor for our wedding — the venue was so pretty, we decided we didn't really need to — but the whole day still felt incredibly personal. Two of our closest friends were our photographers, so they captured some great moments and we never felt like strangers were intruding on our day. We also chose wedding attire that felt very much like us; we got all our dresses and suits at J.Crew, and they were all comfortable and super affordable. Plus, we got married in wine country, which is special to us: my sister has lived there for 15 years and we visit all the time, plus, we love wine! Our favors were special to us as well — we have a cup of tea together almost every night before bed, and we found this delicious "wedding tea" in these adorable tins that perfectly matched our décor. 

What was your most memorable moment of the wedding? My most memorable moment was a few minutes before the ceremony started, when I peeked out of the bridal suite and saw all our friends and family settling into their seats and thought, "This is really happening." I was so excited and happy, and SO nervous all at the same time. 

Photo by Kristyn Stroble

How did you make your day memorable and enjoyable for your guests? We really tried to make our wedding about a joining of the tribes, as my mother-in-law phrased it. We really wanted it to seem like it was a big party where people could just relax and have a great time. We hired babysitters for parents, who wrangled kids at the reception. At the ceremony, since it was a hot Summer day, we had buckets of lemonade and rootbeer and also put picnic blankets under trees for shade. We provided lodging on-site at the reception space, a 19th century fishing and hunting lodge, for about 1/3 of our guests, and found VRBO lodging or lodging with family for at least another 1/3 of guests. Guests later told us that it really felt like they'd stepped back in time, and our officiant's son asked on the way home "Why can't Elka and Peter get married every day?" That's high praise!

How did you incorporate personal touches in your wedding? Our ceremony referenced a backpacking trip my husband and I took together, where he decided to marry me (in part because I made it through that trip and we didn't die, only kind of joking, it was rough.) My little sister (six at the time) and I sewed about 500 feet of bunting, which we hung up all over the wedding grounds. My auntie-in-law and I sewed 120 fabric birds for favors, which were hung up around the reception site and from trees at the wedding site. Guests then cut down a bird to take home with them when they left. Our food/drinks were pretty personal, too, since hosting dinners and cooking/raising great food is a passion of ours.  A friend raised the pig that my dad butchered and then our caterer, a friend, prepared. My father and brother shot the deer that we used for venison at the dinner. All of our produce was locally sourced from organic farmers. My dad brewed some of the wine and all of the beer. All of the flowers were grown from my grandmother's Scrabble friend's farm (and we bought them for under $200!). We arranged all of the flowers ourselves. And the chuppah cover I made with chuppah constructed from trees from our property and built by my dad and fiancé the day of the wedding.

What was your most memorable moment of the wedding? It was all amazing, but my favorite time was the quiet in between the ceremony and reception, when my husband and I took a carriage ride from the ceremony site to the reception lodge. It was two miles from point to point, and the only time we had alone all day/night. It was SO needed and special.

Photo by Tom Tomkinson

How will you incorporate personal touches in your wedding? Because our guests are going to be required to go through security to enter our wedding at San Francisco City Hall, we are going to offer a fun distraction for the moment they get through — a red-carpet worthy "step and repeat" photo background that incorporates our personal logo and wedding colors. Then during cocktail hour, we've ordered personalized napkins with funny facts about us as a couple (for example, "Karli said 'I love you' first in a poem. Sean responded in pager code.") We've also put together a collection of frames and short bios on our bridal party. And as our favor, we're setting up a candy bar with signs that tell guests which treat was the "bride's pick" or the "groom's pick" and so on. Finally, we're creating signature cocktails with names based on our nicknames for one another: "the woman" and "the Mr."

How did you make your day memorable and enjoyable for your guests? We kept the wedding really small, so we were able to chat, dance and enjoy our day with every guest! For us it wasn't just about about one day but the whole weekend that our guests dedicated to our wedding, so we had an open rehearsal dinner, so anyone already in the area could start celebrating. As well having a brunch after the wedding at a local wine shop. 

How did you incorporate personal touches in your wedding? My husband is a home brewer and actually made all of the beer for our wedding. Everyone still talks about how delicious that beer was. I have been obsessed with both succulents and orchids and have been growing my own prior to even getting engaged. The moment we started planning our wedding I knew I wanted our guests to take little succulents as their favors! These succulents are still growing strong at our guests homes, it is nice reminder for both them and us!

What was your most memorable moment of the wedding? We did pictures before we got married, so we could spend more time with our guests and I still remember the moment I walked down the stairs with my dress and my husband saw me for the first time and it all became very real and exciting!

Photo by Tom Tomkinson

How did you make your day memorable and enjoyable for your guests? Besides celebrating our relationship, we really wanted the day to honor our loved ones who are so special to us. So we took tips from all the weddings we have attended over years to make sure the day was as fun for our guests as it was for us. We did the first look and photos before the ceremony, to keep the downtime between the ceremony and the reception short. For entertainment, we had dancing and a photobooth, and there were also couches for those who preferred to lounge. And instead of doing a bouquet toss, we presented all of our grandmothers with small bouquets. Too often wedding food can be a bit boring, so we had our favorite Korean bbq taco truck, Kogi, cater the event. After raving about it for years, we were so happy to share our favorite meal with our guests — a majority of whom came from out of town. We also had doughnuts instead of cake. And even though they were just standard doughnuts from a local shop, everyone loved them and said they were the best wedding dessert ever! Another detail that the guests loved were our Instagram photo place cards.

How did you incorporate personal touches in your wedding? We had more than one guest say how much our wedding was very nontraditional and very "us," which made me happy since that was really our goal. We had one of our favorite movies Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory playing on a big screen during dinner, and the favors were our two favorite kinds of sodas (his fave is root beer, and mine is a strawberry cream soda) from a local soda shop. Also, I did an original watercolor painting of us for our save-the-dates.

What was your most memorable moment of the wedding? It would have to be the first look. With all the stress leading up to the wedding and the craziness of the ceremony and reception, the first look was a peaceful, intimate, and emotional moment between my husband and I that reminded us what the day was about. I will always treasure that memory.

Photo by Michèle M. Waite