I chatted with former star of The Bachelorette and current host of Love It or List It: Vancouver Jillian Harris about how she knows her boyfriend — scrub captain Justin Pasutto — is "the one," what went wrong with her relationship with ex-fiancé Ed Swiderski, and the signs that you, too, may be dating a keeper. Get a glimpse into her happily ever after below, and check out her adorable abode on POPSUGAR Home!
1. He's Perfect For You, Not Perfect
"First of all, there is no relationship that is ever easy," Jillian notes. "Sometimes we romanticize about the idea of a relationship being perfect, but there is really no such thing. I think that Justin is one of the most perfect people on earth; he is so giving, he is so positive, he loves my family, he loves his family, he loves to communicate, he is protective, there are so many great things. But we don't always get along. There are some times, like what did he say the other day . . . 'my heart will always love you but my brain just wants to strangle you right now.' We were just laughing so hard."
2. You Don't Have to Force It
"The biggest issue in life that I have for myself is looking for that perfect relationship and not forcing yourself to be with somebody just because you want to get married," she advises. "That was hard for me because I think that happened with Ed. Ed was the first person that I thought, 'oh my god, I could see myself marrying this person,' even though he was so wrong for me. Ed wasn't honest, he wasn't close with his family, he wasn't close with my family or my friends. He didn't have the same values as I did, he wasn't patient, he wasn't sweet, there was nothing about him that was great for me, but because everyone was rooting for him and I was in love with him at the time I tried to force that to make that work."
3. His Character Will Shine Through His Actions
"How I knew was how Justin is with my family," Jillian gushes. "My grandma was in the hospital getting her hip replaced for the second time, and Justin knew more about her condition than I did. He went down and talked to her, and I just see the way he is with my family and I think that is a really good indication for me that I can never let him go. He and my dad have coffee together almost every morning."
4. He Notices the Little Things
"I would also say when you realize they know you a little better than you know yourself." Jillian shares this funny story: "I fell down the stairs this one time, and I thought I broke my arm, it hurt so bad. He was icing it, and I was complaining that the ice hurt more than my arm hurt. So he said, 'babe, just wiggle your toes.' And I'm like, wiggle my toes? And he's like, 'yeah, when you are nervous or uncomfortable you wiggle your toes, you rub your feet together.' And I was like, 'oh yeah, this feels good.' I loved that he knew something about me that I didn't even know."