The Problem With Dating Could Be the Options
The Problem With Dating Could Be an Overabundance of Options
Twins Karen and Kristy Ambrose, also known as The Ambrose Girls, share their thoughts on today's dating culture and how the latest technology may actually be limiting our options.
Swipe left, swipe left, swipe left, just keep on swiping left until you get bored. Switch to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or your text inbox to find better options on how to occupy your mind with your dating life. Does this sound familiar?
We live in a dating time that seems as though we have infinite options. But, do these infinite options leave us feeling as though we have none at all? How many of us are lonely and bored AF with absolutely zero legit dating prospects?
We have the latest technology to help us, and we're a social generation that is constantly going out and meeting new people. How on earth is it possible for so many of us to feel like our dating lives are the most boring thing ever? With "so many fish in the sea," we all feel as though there is a very small percentage we'd actually choose and an even smaller likelihood that they'll like us back or that it could somehow work.
I don't know about the rest of you, but if I hear one more time "it'll happen when you least expect it," I might scream. I've felt like I have had zero options for well over a year now, have never expected anything out of my dating life, and guess what? Nothing. Has. Happened.
We have so many options and places we can go to meet people, but we're all just sick of it and over it. In fact, the overabundance of options has left us to all be extremely judgmental and quick to let an option go. I often wonder how many times I've let a potential great guy go because he said ONE corny thing one time or wore a shirt I didn't love on a first date. I'm sure that I've been dismissed for minor offenses in the past too. We have absolutely zero tolerance anymore for anything that is not exactly in line with what we think we want. One wrong text, one bad outfit, and that's all you get. We have no problem moving past someone for stupid reasons, since we are all extremely aware that we have options everywhere!
There is one circumstance that transcends this quick to judge and move on attitude we've all adopted, and that circumstance is undeniable chemistry. Sadly, it happens really rarely and it's usually with a person who, among ALL of our other "options," is probably the worst for us in the long haul. Chemistry between two people is impossible to define or fabricate. It's there or it isn't. It is this crazy, wonderful, illogical thing that is shared between two people alone. So mix in several chemistry-less options and one person who you have chemistry with, and you bet your ass you're focusing on the one with chemistry exclusively, regardless of how logical a match that they are. Dropping the other options seems like a no-brainer to us when we're in this situation.
As a generation, we seem to value chemistry above everything else. We chase it, we are fueled by it, and it drives the late-night choices of our lonely and drunk hearts. We can have the greatest guy or girl in the world vying for our attention yet we choose to pass them up for whoever we have the most amount of chemistry with for that short amount of time until it fades or something goes awry. We simply cannot find love until we are ready to stop chasing the chemistry and focus on reality. The reality is that these inappropriate people we are choosing to focus on for the sake of the spark are preventing us from choosing people who are actually better for us.
Chemistry can and does exist between two people who work together in other places than the bedroom, it just takes patience to find. More than patience, it takes for us all to open our eyes to the options in front of us . . . yes, all of them. Which of those options would make you happy 10 years from now when any chemistry you have now will probably fade? Our short-term decision making is ruining our long-term chances of happiness, and we are the ultimate losers here. Chemistry is great and magnetizing. I get it, we all get it. But next time you're assessing your ever-present options, keep in mind your short-term realities may be vastly different than your long-term bliss.