Sugar Bride Guide: Traditions

What wedding traditions did you keep? There were definitely some traditions that were important to us even though we weren't too set on following the standard wedding template. Our parents and family were so open about us doing things our way, so it made it easier to just go with what made sense to us and forget the rest. I really wanted to recite the traditional wedding vows, to me there just seemed to be something special about saying the words that so many others, including most of our family members, had said when they got married. We did a traditional cake cutting — actually we did it twice since our videographer missed it the first time! Even though I don't think many people really paid attention, it made for cute pics and highlighted one of my favorite details from our day  — our personalized cake topper. The order of the ceremony and all that was pretty standard, and we didn't see each other beforehand, unless you count when I ran into my groom early that morning after picking up coffee with my girlfriends. Oops! 

What wedding traditions did you ditch? It wasn't important to me to have all the bridesmaids match, and I liked the idea of a more casual look, so I asked my bridesmaids to wear any dress that they liked in a green hue. I love the way all the shades of green look in pictures and many of them have already worn their dresses again! 

We decided to have my husband's aunt and uncle marry us instead of a traditional officiant or pastor. They actually officiated his sister's wedding a few years before and we loved the way it turned out. His aunt and uncle crafted our entire ceremony, and we wrote our own vows. It was the perfect balance of personal, serious wedding stuff, and a little fun! 

We skipped a bouquet toss in the interest of saving time and that awkward moment when no one really wants to volunteer to participate and we also didn't do a garter toss.

We had an extra large wedding party that included our siblings, cousins,  and best friends. Since we didn't want to have 20(!) people standing up with us, we only asked our immediate siblings to stand by our sides during the ceremony. The rest of the wedding party walked down the aisle and took seats in the first few rows — they got to sit and enjoy the ceremony and the rest of the guests got to see the beautiful view since there wasn't a wall of people blocking it! We didn't do a head table or a sweetheart table, instead we mixed up our friends and family and sat among them at a mix of round and rectangular tables to make the reception feel less formal. 

Photo by Mi & Mo Photography

What wedding traditions did you keep? We kept the things that felt meaningful and significant to us. Our vows were written by us but were fairly traditional, and we had a traditional cake (although it was chocolate, which was a risky but delicious choice!) and cake-cutting. We also had a big wedding party, and the cutest flower girls ever. 

What wedding traditions did you ditch? We aren't super into dancing, so we didn't actually have a first dance, or even a dance floor. That turned out to be awesome, because our guests had more time to linger over their food and to mingle with each other. We also didn't do a bouquet toss or garter toss; just didn't feel the need.

Photo by Kristyn Stroble

What wedding traditions will you keep? Me and my husband-to-be are big on traditions, as are our family members (my future mother-in-law actually made us drink from one of those German wedding cups at our engagement party even though neither one of us have German roots!). As such, we're sticking to most of the wedding day staples — I'll be in a big, white dress with a veil pulled over my face, I will definitely have something borrowed, blue, old, and new on me, but most importantly, we've agreed not to see one another before the curtains open for my walk down the aisle. I get why some couples plan a preview to save time by snapping photos ahead of the ceremony, but this is just one tradition we can't bear to break. I'll also be participating in all the other usual reception moments such as tossing the bouquet, having a garter toss, and a perfectly posed cake cutting.

What wedding traditions will you ditch? The one tradition we're doing without is a father-daughter dance. Unfortunately, my dad passed away when I was younger, and while we'll be honoring him with a mention in our program and in a photo charm that will be attached to my bouquet, we're just going to do a mother-son dance for my guy and his mom and I may join in halfway through with my future father-in-law.

What wedding traditions did you keep? Practically everything about our wedding was nontraditional, but there were a few big day traditions we kept. For instance, my dad walked me down the aisle, I wore a white dress, and we had a father/daughter and mother/son dance.

What wedding traditions did you ditch? First off, our ceremony and reception were held at a renovated smog check center in LA, not exactly your standard wedding venue. We did a first look before the ceremony so that the timeline was smoother for the guests, and we wrote our own personalized vows (I finished mine the night before!). I wanted my bridesmaids to feel comfortable in their dresses, so I let them pick their own with a few parameters. The bridesmaids carried heart balloons instead of bouquets and the groomsmen wore sequined hearts instead of boutonnieres, in keeping with our heart theme. My dress was the traditional white, but linen, and I wore a rhinestone headband in lieu of a veil. I think my mom was sad the veil was skipped, but it just felt too stuffy for our fun atmosphere and didn't feel "me." Neither of us really like cake, so we had doughnuts instead, and we chose our absolute favorite Korean BBQ food truck for dinner. To make it more intimate we sat at a long family-style table with our bridal party and friends instead of doing the sweetheart table. One of my favorite out-of-box elements of the reception decor was our gold sequin linens — I was nervous they'd be over the top at first, but with the rest of the industrial space they were perfect! Traditions like the bouquet toss and the garter toss just seemed silly to us, so they were nixed as well.

Photo by Michèle M. Waite

What wedding traditions did you keep? My mother is Norwegian, to honor my heritage in addition to a lovely dessert bar, we also ordered a kranskakke which is a very traditional cake to serve at a wedding. The legend goes the number of rings the newly married couples pops off will be how many children they have.

What wedding traditions did you ditch? A big bridal party and bridesmaids! We wanted a very intimate wedding with only our family and closest friends, so with such a small group it seemed silly to have a big bridal party. Each of our brothers stood beside us. Having my brother as my "maid of honor" was simply perfect!

Photo by Tom Tomkinson