The dating game can be a struggle in general, but even more so when reality doesn't meet the same expectations your guy has of you. It's no news that men and women are wired differently — especially in terms of relationships. Have you ever heard your male friends describe what they look for in a woman? Some of it is almost laughable because she just doesn't exist.
Guys, as much as we'd like to embody both Gillian Flynn's "cool" girl and our real selves, it doesn't always work that way. And ladies, those of you who've somehow mastered this perfect combo, clue us in on your secret. For the rest of the female population who still doesn't quite understand how men think, the following contradictions might sound all too familiar.
- Not being a "salad girl" while having a banging body: Those fast-food commercials of models scarfing down cheeseburgers have created this fantasy that 900 calories pair well with a bikini. Ever been told, "I'm glad you didn't order a salad"? Well, we can't be skinny and eat like you all the time.
- Being wife material while being your FWB (friend with benefits): Some women have managed to embrace the best of both worlds, but a lot of guys tend to mentally categorize between "the girl you have fun with" and "the girl you bring home." And all while seeking someone who can be both. Now how does that work?
- Looking natural while still looking super sexy: The I-woke-up-like-this look doesn't translate as flawlessly for everyone. Au naturel can require some work too.
- Being distant while still showing interest: So let me get this — you don't want her texting you too much, but then complain that she doesn't text you enough. OK, got it.
- Being a guy's girl while not having any other guy friends: You, sir, will not be the only male figure in our lives as much as you'd like to be. It's unrealistic, and not to mention unfair (double standard, much?).
- Caring while not being too involved: We're expected to show some interest in your well-being, but God forbid we show a hint more. Because that's just clingy, right?
- Keeping you on your toes while not being "complicated": No one likes getting bored — we get it. But we can't be sympathetic to "I just don't get her" when those curveballs are making you call and text back.
- Being independent while confirming your masculinity: Independent women are just that — independent. So if that's what you're looking for, you can't simultaneously hold us responsible for keeping your manhood in check. We can't be expected to need you and to be completely self-sufficient.
- Being committed but not wedding crazy: A long-term relationship is acceptable, but the second future plans are mentioned, that's when you run for the hills. Getting serious is OK as long as it doesn't involve getting too serious. What gives?
- Being low maintenance while looking high maintenance: Guys, it takes time to look good. If it was possible for us to get up and go without any preparation, we'd be all over it. If you want us to rush getting ready, expect rushed results.