It's nearly impossible to put into words the love we each feel for our children, as unconditional, all-encompassing love is difficult to explain. However, we can show our children every day how much we love and cherish them, which is what one mom passionately reflects on doing each night after she puts her children to sleep. When the sun goes down and she's tucked her children into bed "for the seventeenth time," she asks herself a question directed at her little ones: "did I love you enough today?"
The truth is, though we all have that unconditional love for our babies, raising children is a testing practice that results in inevitable instances of yelling and disagreements. Inspired by the roller coaster of emotions that comes with day-to-day parenting, coupled with the desire to always be perceived as loving by her children, Kristen LaValley penned a touching personal note to her children on her blog.
"Just before my head hits the pillow, I ask myself, 'Did I love them enough today?'" she starts. "You see, the day goes so fast, but the moments drag on and on and on. I know you don't understand why the way you say my name drives me crazy sometimes. . . . I try to give grace because you probably didn't mean to sit on your baby sister's head . . . twice . . . in two minutes. But the truth is, I fail. So much. I snap. I cry. I angry text your daddy and threaten mutiny multiple times a day. I get sad and I can't explain why. I get angry and have a hard time hiding it. I get lonely and insecure and frustrated and sometimes I say things that I can't take back."
The honest mom continues, outlining the thought process she goes through at the end of each day, a day she realizes she'll never get back with her kids again.
I go over the details, the highs and the lows, and I wonder if you felt loved the whole day. Once you're in bed, sleeping soundly, I almost completely forget how hard the day was for me. In the moment, the chaos is so real, but when it's over, it's over and I just want to wake you up and say, "HEY! You did good today, kid."
I hope that I loved you enough today. I hope that everyday you know that you are loved and that nothing you can do or say can change that. I hope that you see through my tears of frustration and know that I am so proud of you. You are the best thing I ever did. I love you fiercely and I hope you always know that. Not just in the long run, but every single frustrating day.
Did I love you enough today, little one? I sure hope so.